I Need Some Manners

Now that The Roc has mastered complete sentences, we're trying to teach him some social graces, like "please" and "thank you." It's not going well.

"Mommy, I want a pretzel."

"Try 'Mommy, I would like a pretzel please.'"

"Mommy, I would like a pretzel."

"What else do you say?"

"Mommy, I neeeeeeeeed a pretzel!"

Not only is The Roc not getting it, but he's dragging Daddy down with him.

"Honey, I neeeeeeeeed a beer."

"There's a new Dan Brown novel coming out. I neeeeeeeeed it."

"I don't neeeeeeeeed to iron this shirt; it's wrinkle-resistant."

The Roc's nose-picking has become so blatant that I finally staged an intervention.

"Honeybun, why do you keep picking your nose?"

"There are boooodies inside.

"You mean boogers?" I asked, wondering where he'd picked up that particular word.

"No, boooodies. Tweet, tweet, tweet!"

"There are birdies in your nose? How did they get there?"

"Flap, flap, flap!" He flapped his arms enthusiastically.

I neeeeeeeeed a margarita.