But I Need A Pedicure!

I mentioned today that I was planning to get a pedicure with a girlfriend this weekend.

The Roc looked at me in horror.

"But I NEED you!"

I Can Never Remember Where I Put My Vacuum Cleaner, Either

As a busy, semi-employed mommy, I often jot things down on my the palm of hand so I don't forget them. It's perhaps the one thing Sarah Palin and I have in common, other than our children and a shared fondness for buying expensive shoes with other people's money.

Yesterday, Daddy noticed the The Roc had scribbled all over his hand with a magic marker.

"What's that on your hand, munchkin?"

"It's to remind me."

"To remind you of what?"

"To remind me where I put my vacuum cleaner." The Roc's toy vacuum cleaner is his second-favorite plaything, after his toy lawn mower.

"So where is your vacuum cleaner?" Daddy asked.

The Roc looked at Daddy like he was a crazy person and told him:

"I CAN'T REMEMBER!"

Anything for a Jelly Bean

We've been rewarding The Roc with jelly beans when he goes potty.

Yesterday, after his shower, The Roc declared: "I want some jelly beans!"

"Honey, jelly beans are only for when you go potty," I explained for the fiftieth time. "You haven't pooped in the potty today."

"I peed!" he announced proudly.

"No, you didn't."

"Yes, I did!"

"In the potty?" I asked suspiciously.

"No, in the shower!"