Why Me?

As predicted by every book ever written on child behavior, The Roc has started asking "Why?" three hundred times a day.

"Stop banging on the table."

"Why?"

"We're going to the park today."

"Why?"

"Don't pull Leroy's tail."

"Why? Ow!"

Not wanting to stifle the natural curiosity that he is certain is going to make The Roc a great scientist some day, Daddy is trying to use reverse psychology. For every "Why?" question of The Roc's, he asks a "Why? question back.

The Roc: "Why do babies cry?"

Daddy: "Why do you think babies cry?"

The Roc: "But.....why?"

As a result, I now hear "Why?" six hundred times a day.

A variation on "Why?" is "Who made it?" These inquiries range from the mundane to the truly existential.

"Who made the car?"

"The car factory."

"Who made the balloon?"

"The man at Trader Joe's."

"Who made Leroy's whiskers?"

"God."

"Who is God?"

Hmmmm. Bit of a loaded question, that one. I tried Daddy's tactic. "You know who God is, don't you?"

"She lives at church!"

"Er....yes. And in heaven."

"And in Bethlehem!"

"Um, sure."

"Can we go to Bethlehem right now?"

"No."

"WHY?"

It's a Jolly Holiday with The Roc

Considering that his father has an accent somewhere between Sean Connery and Shrek, it's not surprising that The Roc has a few pronunciation issues. "Girl" becomes "gel" (with a hard "g," in the upper-crust English style) and "world" sounds like "weld." But my favorite Roc-ism--the one I am most likely to start using in conversation--is "supercalifragilisticexpiali-DOUCHE-us."

Seeing Double

At a birthday party last weekend, two of the young guests were identical (and identically dressed) twin boys. One of them made the mistake of pushing The Roc. As I have trained him to do in these situations, The Roc found me and ratted him out. A mommy conference ensued, apologies were made and conciliatory high five exchanged. End of story? No. A couple of minutes later, out of the corner of my eye, I caught The Roc hitting the OTHER twin. Why? "He pushed me!" It took me a good few seconds to figure out that The Roc didn't realize there were two of them.