Pardon My French

Daddy: Do you know what a chateau is?

The Roc: Yes. It's shaped like you and does everything you do.

Der Roboter

The Roc: What's the German word for "robot"?

Mommy: I have no idea.

The Roc: Can you doodle it?

Mommy: Doodle it?

The Roc: On your iPhone.

Mommy: You mean Google it?

The Roc: Yes. Doodle it.

A Horse By Any Other Name

Whereas once The Roc was prone to giving his animals--stuffed and otherwise--unimaginative names like "Horsie," "Puppy," and "Kitty," for the past several months he has been unimaginatively giving all of them the same name. 


Wait for it. 


"Rainbow."


Yesterday, he got a horse finger puppet as a party favor.


"What's the horsie's name?" I asked hopefully.


The Roc gave me a look.


"You know what his name is, Mommy."

I've Been Expecting This, Mr. Roc

Daddy has a new desk chair. Burgundy leather, high back, armrests, swivel seat, caster wheels--the kind you can sit in without being seen from behind, until suddenly you whirl around with a white Persian cat in your arms and announce in a Eurotrash accent: "We've been expecting you, Mr. Bond."

The Roc has pulled this kind of surprise on me several times. Today, though, I was in another room when I heard a loud crash. I ran into the office and found The Roc lying on the floor, the chair still swiveling.

"I was spinning in the chair," he explained. "And I span too fast."

Not Cricket

The Roc and I have been reading kiddie travel books in preparation for our upcoming quadrennial European family vacation. (Three weeks, four cities, two rental cars, eighteen plane tickets, and one jetlagged four-year-old; it has all the makings of a highly addictive reality show, or maybe an especially juicy divorce trial.) A book about London informed us that cricket fans will want to visit Lords.

"I'm a cricket fan," The Roc announced.

The Roc enjoys many sports, but as far as I know he's never played, seen, or even heard of cricket.

"Why do you say that?" I asked.

"Well, I like bugs, and a cricket is a bug."

Yes. Grow.

Mommy: "Beans, beans, the musical fruit. The more you eat, the more you...."

The Roc: "Grow?"

Croquet With The Roc